After my last top ten list which featured the prayers of our four-footed friends, I was asked to compile a list of the top ten dog sins. So, here we go.
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
10. You are the Lord my God, but I found myself worshipping at the feet of my master yesterday. To be fair, she was holding a hot dog at the time.
9. I tried really hard not to build false idols, but I couldn’t resist looking up to the Milk Bone box when it was left out on the table last week.
8. I never take the Lord’s name in vain, but my dad may need a reminder that my first name is not “Dammit”.
7. Don’t worry about my remembering the Sabbath. I don’t do much work on any of the seven days.
6. Usually, I honor my parents, but I did call my mother a bitch the other day.
5. Killing is probably the biggest sin of all. Does it count that I totally destroyed my squeaky toy?
4. Adultery. That’s a tough one. You see, there’s this really hot poodle that lives down the street…
3. I admit it. I am a thief. This is probably my biggest sin. The little people at my house just can’t seem to remember to shut the refrigerator door, and it’s asking just a bit much to tell me I can’t take advantage of the situation.
2. And, I guess since I blamed the whole refrigerator incident on my brother, I’m guilty of bearing false witness, as well.
1. Covetous? Me? What could I possibly covet? I’ve got toys, treats, and I’m living the life of Riley. Well, maybe I’m just a little jealous of my neighbor, who still has his manhood, but other than that…
Until next time,
Good day, and good dog!