Tuesday Top Ten: Human Pet Peeves about Dogs

As promised, here are the top ten pet peeves humans have about dogs.

10.  You know how you dance around the kitchen when you want to go for a walk?  We’d get out there a lot faster if you’d sit down and relax while I put your leash on.

9.  I really don’t need any company in the bathroom.  I’ve been handling it alone since I was two.

8.  If you have to pee in the house, could you please try to do it on the linoleum rather than on the carpet?

7.  French kissing is only for mommy and daddy.  You don’t need to join in this particular activity. If you feel the need to lick my face, just keep your tongue away from my mouth.

6.  I’m the one who is supposed to decide when it’s time for me to get up in the mornings – particularly on Saturdays.

5.  Your food is the stuff in your bowl.  The stuff on the counters, in the refrigerator, and on the table is mine. 

4.  Your water is also in a bowl with your name on it.  That porcelain thing in the bathroom has other uses.  (Refer to # 9.)  And, by the way, is there a reason you have to create such a large puddle around the dish every single time you take a drink?  I’m afraid the cat’s going to drown one of these days – maybe that’s your plan.

3.    That thing you do where you raise the hair on your back and bark like crazy at the front door in the middle of the night?  Not funny!

2.  If I wanted someone to hog the bed covers, I’d be married.

1.  No, for the last time, you cannot have a baby brother!

Until next time,

Good day, and good dog!

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