The Ups and Downs of Being a Dog


Can you imagine the roller coaster of emotions a dog goes through on a daily basis?

Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Bacon! It smells so good! I just know that plate’s for me!

Wait! What’s she doing giving it to him? And he put it on the table where I can’t reach it. That is absolutely not fair!

There goes the squeak of the back door! Must be time to go outside! Smell those good smells! I smell a bunny! Where is he? Where is he? There he goes across the neighbor’s yard! I know I can catch him this time!

What is this metal thing blocking my way? Here, bunny, bunny, bunny. Damn! He’s going the other direction.

I’ll just lay here in the sunshine and wait for him to come back. Loving the hot sunshine!

Where’d it go? The sun was just here a minute ago. What’s that fluffy white thing in the sky?

Where is she? I’ve been scratching on this door forever! Or at least for 3 whole seconds. Why can’t she let me in? I know she loves me! She must be making a big surprise breakfast for me!

Dry kibble again. Thanks for nuttin’.

Nap time! I’ll just lay here in my cozy bed and wait for the kid to come home from school. Such a nice dream. I know I’m going to catch up with that squirrel this time!

What is that awful noise? Can’t a dog get a little shut-eye around here? I hate that thing. Every week it’s the same – she tries to suck up my tail in it, and I have to hide under the bed until she puts it away. Even if I just back up, she keeps chasing me across the carpet with it.

What’s that I hear? Is it my leash coming off the hook? Oh, boy! A walk! I can smell the whole neighborhood! I love walks! There goes the squirrel! I’m getting up to a good run!

YANK!

What is this thing squeezing my neck? Why can’t I go see the squirrel? He went up that darn tree again!

Oooohhhh! What’s this building? Boy does it smell good. Let’s see, Rex has been here, and Spot, and maybe even LuLu, that silly-looking poodle from down the block. Oh, boy! She’s opening the door! We’re going in.

SCREECH!

No way! This is that guy who stole my manhood! What is it this time? Does he want a leg? And what is that long skinny silver… OUCH! What was that for? I didn’t tell him he could have some of my blood!

Glad to be out of there! Just get me home. Can’t even enjoy my walk, I’m so upset.

Good! Here comes the kid! He always spills some of his snack! I’ll have me some good eats today!

What? Yogurt! What kind of a snack is that? It’s just not my day.

Finally, supper time! Smell that canned food! I love canned food! Can’t wait! Here it comes! Lower, lower, there! Finally on the floor. GULP!

Where’d it go? I know she gave me some food, but I sure didn’t taste anything.

And so it goes in a dog’s life.

Good day, and good dog!

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