A Dog’s Life: Easy or Hard

Many people talk about having a dog’s life – thinking it’s no more complicated than eating, sleeping, and taking the occasional trip outside to the bathroom.  But is it really such an easy life?  Think of all the things your dog has to remember on a daily basis!

1. I will not eat the cats’ food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. I will not munch on “leftovers” in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.

4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

5. The sofa is not a ‘face towel’. Neither are Mom and Dad’s laps.

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

8. I will not bite the officer’s hand when he reaches in for Mom’s driver’s license and registration.

9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.

10. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying “hello”.

11. I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m under the coffee table.

12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house – not after.

13. I will not throw up in the car.

14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.

16. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’ so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.

Until next time,

Good day, and good dog!

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6 thoughts on “A Dog’s Life: Easy or Hard”

  1. Oh, i was splitting my sides at
    #8. I will not bite the officer’s hand when he reaches in for Mom’s driver’s license and registration

    I can totally see that happening and being really hard to explain.
    Too funny.

  2. How about “burying chicken breasts in Mom’s comforter is not the same as burying them outside in the dirt”?

  3. Too funny and soo true! Also who needs dog toys when there’s something furry in the house you can chase and it even makes nose and it’s so nice and fluffy too!

  4. Actually, it’s all true except the part with the guns. My Danny loves everybody or (as he puts it) “I’m a lover…not a fighter”.

  5. I really loved this list. It kept me laughing all night. I have to add one more rule to the list for my beagle….When two big men with guns come to our front door I will not wag my tail and try to lick them.

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